Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Angel's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, May 14th, 2005
8:24 pm	So i decieded to actually update because i have stuff to say. Highschool is almost over... it's pretty crazy. it honestly feels like not long ago i was in grade 8... i'm pretty pumped i must say... however on the downside, i won't be doing what i had my heart set on for next year, going onto post-secondary school. in fact-i got the notice in the mail saying my grades were too low and i was rejected. with my grades i could get into TONS of other courses... but they shit i wanna do it overally competitive and i literally need like...amazing grade-age. hahah. sooo...i will be upgrading next year. i was definately bummed i didn't get in...but now... i'm thinking about moving to upgrade... not just another city... but like 15 hours away. it'd only be for a month or two... but i think it'd be a good change. :) On another note-my friend who was travelling in germany just e-mailed me and told me that she had to transfer host families...why? because the girl she was staying with was trying to get her to have a threesome with the girl and her sex buddy. oh...gosh. i was like..wtf! But she'll be coming home soon so that'd be pretty cool. I'd love to travel for a bit on my time off next year...do any of you know of any good travelling programs?! i think it'd be cool to just tranvel for a few months..or do volunteer work maybe!? i dunno how to go about doing that though... On a happier note i hope...i am getting extensions put in on tuesday! i hope they end up looking okay. ahhh... and then yesterday i went and got my hair streaked... and on monday i think i'm gunna go get some more streaks put in... right now my hairs like a dark brown with golden streaks, but i want more... i'm not a fan of blonde-ish hair, however it'll give me a summery feel?! hahah :) anyways...hope you guys have all been good. i'll update again soon, hopfully even with pictures of my hair?! wheeee!!! <3 Current Mood: confused Current Music: stabilo-everybody (Comment on this)
Saturday, April 16th, 2005
11:10 pm	kay dude. have i just become really...lame lately or something?! i don't really even feel like going out with my friends half the time because i just have sooo much shit on my mind. but they can't understand that. it's hard. i mean, i'm cool with just spending the day at home with my parents and juss watching t.v & being lazy. alot of them and their parents don't get along and they need to be out like 24/7, but i'm not like that. today, i even cancelled on a concert i was supposed to be going to. i mean, i adore concerts. i used to be able to go to 9238467 a week and not get sick of them, but i have so much other stuff i'm focusing on. But tonight my mom relaly didn't want me going either. AND THEN, i found out two of the leading bands dropped outta the show last minute. So i had to break the news to stephy and...she CRIED. i felt like the fucking biggest jerk. but sometime i guess you just have to focus on the important things in your life...right? ugh. i'm going job searching tomorrow/ <333 (Comment on this)
Friday, February 18th, 2005
10:54 pm	Venting: so...things have been up, and down. As usual. I think that's for every person though. this school year has been shit. i don't think i've ever failed any tests in my life until this year. and this is the year that actually matters. what the fuck are they trying to do to us! it's like...they don't WANT us to have a good job. they don't want us going to post-secondary school. ugh. so i had my first social test today. failed. 48%...even though socials never been a terribly strong point of mine...a 48%?!!? it's insaine. i'm not anywhere near stupid, and gosh, i'm just...'sigh'..bummed. tests are tough though...because i freeze. i feel like i'm not going to finish it and i just stress and get all nervous, and everything i studies the night before is pretty much earsed from my memory. i get my final marks back on monday i think...i'm so scared, this determines whether i have to take any previous classes again...fuck. i hope not...i need out of highschool though. it's not a good place for me, hahah, i need to be working towards what i want to do in life...not learning about the government and what 6+2 is. it's so lame.. 4 1/2 months. however i don't even know what i want to do when i get out of highschool. i'm planning on heading out of here eventually...puruse the acting/singing thing. it's my dream, and hey...who knows! hahah, anyways, this was a pointless post...i'll actually update with a good gossip one soon <3 (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, January 22nd, 2005
12:26 pm	Finally! So, i promised an 'actual' post soon, and alas! here it is. Gosh, i feel like i've been so busy lately, i've barely had time to do...well really anything. Do you ever feel like ther's not enough hours in the day? Schools intense right now. Or was, at least. I only have one test left, gah. I don't know...it's been a weird year. I was hoping this last year would be the best year of school...it still has time to get better, but so far, it hasn't been amazing. Actually, it's been pretty hard...& scary. One good thing really did come out of it. This boy. I met him in the summer...while i was working, he threw a cracker at me, and almost hit me in the face. After that we kinda just clicked. Unfortunatly, it hasn't been all good from there...alot of...drama and confusion came with him walking into my life, and i'm not one to be involved in drama, ever. Only it was our own faults. He was looks for something so much more then I could give him right now. A releltionship. I'm trying to figure out soo much in my life right how, goodness, i just felt like...a reletionship was the last thing I could have. We're pretty different too. But we work. I mean...we did date for a couple months...which i guess made it hard, because eventually I started to pull away. Trying not to hurt him. Because wow...that kid means everything to me. But we're in such different places in our lives right now, he's working on his career, and I have so many questions that I need to find answers to by myself. I know he's more then willing to help me figure this stuff out...but it's some of those things only you'll be able to find the answers to. After alot of tears, explaining, and more tears, I think we've found a, medium, where it'll be hard for a while, but at least i'll still see him? Friends. He was debating for a while about it though. He didn't think we could be 'just friends' but i guess, after long consideration, i guess neither of us could see our lives without having the other one in it. Because really, he's my best friend. He's the only person in my life, that I've ever met, other then my family who's actually taken the time to get to know me. He's the only person who's ever seen me cry. He's the only person who's ever seen me and my best, AND my worst. He's the only person who's stuck around and showed me he actually CARES. I've never had that before. Yeah, i have a best friend. But when i moved here, well, we have our own lives. And she's...ehh...another story. Sometimes I just feel really lonely here. I don't know...i need to get out, where people are actually, i don't know, fun. Haha. People who don't need to drink to have a good time, because frankly, i feel sorry for those people. If you can't sit down one weekend and just chill with your closest friends, a buncha chick flicks, and ice cream, that sucks. Because it's amazing. Well, i assume it is. I know tons of people here, but what does that mean? I have a bunch of phone numbers. But what's the use if i never use them? I mean, it's lovely that i can say hi and talk to them in the hallways at school...or at a party, but after that, what happens? No one truly knows ME. Not even my 'closest friends'. Why? Because they've never even asked. I need new friends. But now 'hes' around. And things are just...different. He'll sit there, watching a Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen movie, because he knows that makes me happy. He'd be the perfect boyfriend. He was, when he was my bf. He called when he was supposed to. He said all the right things. He always told me how 'beautiful' i am...he still does. He thinks I look equally as beautiful with my pjama's on, my hair a mess, and my makeup gone. I think he's do anything for me...and i would, for him. Gosh, i get all teary eyes when I talk about him, because by gosh, he really DOES care. I hope he sticks around. <3 later dolls. Current Mood: Teary-eyed. Current Music: 'Sweet Dreams' (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, January 20th, 2005
2:11 pm	Only 6 more months of school. I can do it... Gah, I need a hug. Hahah. Wish me luck on my final test tomorrow... fuck <3 (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, December 26th, 2004
12:15 am	OH MY.... ITS MY BIRTHDAY!!!! okay...im going to do a real update sooooon! be excited! hahah. i hope you all had and AWESOME christmas! xoxoxo Current Mood: excited (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 26th, 2004
4:10 pm	This isn't one of my petty little posts about shopping, or being upset with someone, or something insignificicant like that. It's real life. A few weeks ago, my life changed in a way i really never had expected....sometimes you don't understand why these things need to happen, this is one of those cases... Do you have one of those people in your life that when you see them look at you, you can just tell how much you mean to them, they just kinda glow, and smile and you can tell they adore you? I, luckily can say i can think of 3 people who i know really care about me. Sheena, Dustin, and Ash. Ash was one of those people you never expected to meet, but after you did, couldn't picture life without them. I met her in grade 10, during our mutual class of yearbook. There was only three of us in the class, so of course we all became very close, quite quickly. She was possibly the neatest people ever. You can say how much you don't care about what other people think of you all you want, but somewhere inside, most do, even if just a little bit. However, she didn't. She was brutally honest, yet she never said something in the intention of hurting you. Whenever the teacher would leave the room, we'd pick up the phone, and call her best friend up and leave her some crazy message on her phone that she'd get when she got home...Ash was brilliant, one of the funniest people i've ever encountered and without a doubt, the wittiest, and most unique. I adored her. Last year, we had bio & a spare class together, which we rambled on aimlessly about going snowboarding together, and bowling. When anna walked into german class a couple weeks ago late, i never though that this, would have any effect on me. She explained there was a car crash a bit away from my school, which is why she was late. A smaller car and been smashed into by a semi, i was a bit taken back, though i never though it would have been someone i knew. Moments later, a two girl from my class were called down to the office. One, came back and told us that there had been a car accident with a student from our school involved. They told me that it was jen, ash's best friend. I was shocked, though nothing really processed yet...then the girl told me ash had been in the car as well, and it was a serious accident, with both girls in the hopistal. Again, i don't know why, but i didn't think much of it, ash always struck me as being invincible. Nothing could bring her down, and deffiently, nothing could harm her. Throughout the night i was informed ash was driving, the semi had hit the passangers side, jens side and dragged them along for a bit. Ash was sent to hospital by helicopter, while an ambulence was called for jen. Everyone assumed ash would be the one less hurt, for it slammed into jen's side, not hers. I was asked by numerous people if i was okay, they knew me and ash were good friends. I was like, of course! I mean, i knew ash would recover and be fine. right?! Later that night, the phone rang, and i'll never forget that phone call. My friend Jennifer: Hi Me: Hey!! Jennifer: I have bad news... Me:...what... Jennifer: Ashley...died. Me: But...it hit jen's side...and Jennifer: *Abit of mumbling and explaining that never processed in my mind* Me: I have to go, i'm going to start crying any second... My mom was standing next to me. My face just kinda scrunched up, and i forced a tiny smile. My mom said "What happened"?! I just kinda covered my eyes, crying. She said "Ashley didn't die...did she?!" and i burst into tears. And i just cried. I watched the news that night, and they said "both girls were still in bad conditions in the hospital" i had a bit of false hope as i went to sleep that night, thinking, maybe my friend was wrong! ashley still is alive! she must have heard wrong. The next morning when i saw everyone crying at school, i realized it wasn't false. It was all real. No ones ever seen me cry, aside from my family. I cried all day at school. And all night, and in fact, for the next week. And right now. And last night. And every once in a while, because I miss her THAT much. She ended up with life threatening head and chest injuries, and only lived for a few hours after the crash. Jen, her best friend, is back at school now, and looks amazing for being in a crash of that sort. Her foots broken, and one side of her face is a bit swollen still. But she looks amazing. I haven't talked to her though. And i'm not sure if i ever will again. You never know. i was friends with her before the crash, but i met her through ashley, and i just, can't bring myself to say anything. What do i say? How do I act? When i see her i think of ash...what if i burst into tears? i don't want to cry anymore. The day of the crash i saw ash and jen walking towards the front door of the school to go out for lunch. I wanted to say hi, but i was with my other friends and for some weird reason, i didn't. I was like, ah, i'll say hi tomorrow. Well, tomorrow will never come for ashley. And i'll never get to say "hi" or bye. Or how much she ment to me. But i think she knows. She changed my life. I don't know if it'll ever fully sink in...i went to the funeral. And i saw the open casket. It didn't even look liker her...but a plastice doll. Or a wax fingurine. But i still think i'll see her at school tomorrow. And if not tomorrow, maybe the next day. Or the next. Last year she gave me a picture she had gotten professionally done and on the back, it reads... "Here, now when you look through your dirty drawers in 20 years, you'll remember i existed in your life." The irony only sets in now as i'm sitting her missing her more then ever. but gosh, ashley. how could i ever forget you? xoxo <3 (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, September 5th, 2004
8:23 pm	so i'm back in school now. i miss summer soo much! and my tan. :( back to the tanning salon i'll be going soon. i swear it's going to snow any day now, it slowly starts getting more miserable. this year should be interesting...i hope it's better then last. *crosses fingers*...i'll be outta highschool forever then. at the same time that the excitment is just rushing through me, i think i'm kinda scared as well, which is of course that natural thing to feel. then i want to move out of here, i won't miss a whole lot of people, but there would be some. :) so this boy i met, i guess we're "dating" now. he goes to college in a few days though, so we'll see how this goes. i talked to him about "us" though, it was tough, i couldn't seem to get across the point i was trying to make, and everything i said seemed to sound like i was trying to get rid of him. i don't know...maybe i WAS trying to. it's not that i don't want him there, it's just, i don't want as much stress on me this year as last, and i think it'd be easier if we were just friends but when i asked him "would you hate me if this didn't end up working out" he replied with "i'd try not to". that kinda hurt, because it's going to be fucking hard for it to work with everything we have on the go. :/ ehh. i need to go do homework though!! <3 <3 hope everyone's year is starting off good. Current Mood: okay Current Music: Tom Petty-Free Falling (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, August 22nd, 2004
8:24 pm	So i realize i've been sucking in the area of commenting lately. i'm sorry! BUT i have a good excuse, really. i haven't actually really been home all summer, therefore making it impossible. i leave again soon, but after that....!!! so this summer has been insaine. if i were to write about it, it would be a fuckin' novel. but breaking it down i met THEE coolest people ever. and i've had such a good time. i can't believe it's almost over. and i'm so tanned. haha, it's hot. i got my first job, and my first paycheck, ever. defiently cool. i got to wear a bright yellow uniform for my job and i now have a couple scars on my hands/arms from hot popcorn oil. it's over now. but i did meet this amazing guy out of it, with even more amazing people. he opens doors for me, and holds my hand. he plays with my hair and his hair smells like coconuts. he smells like diesel cologne. he took my bowling and mini golfing, and when i'm cold he cuddles up to me. we make out for like, hours. and when he closes his eyes and lays there with his arms around me he looks adorable. of course with all this comes a problem, the fact that i think we want different things out of this. i think he wants an exclusive reletionship and i more so just want to casually date. i don't know if that sounds selfish, it's just i'm young, i don't want to "settle down". he's 2 1/2 years older, he's had time to have fun. i haven't. i love being around him and i love how he treats me so good, but with our lifestyles i'm not sure if it's even possible to work. i'm scared to bring up "us" though, because at the end of this, i really do want to come out of it with him still as my really good friend. i've also come to the conclusion i'm kinda shallow when it comes to things. however i think everyone is like that to some extent, i wish i wasn't so shallow. it's lame and i hate it, but i don't know what to do about it. school goes back in soon. i'm not so excited. i wish homework didn't exist, but what can you do. i have soo many stories to tell, but i was up way late last night and i need a good night sleep. better update soon. <3 miss u all. Current Mood: headachy Current Music: it's my life-bon jovi (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 21st, 2004
5:18 pm	Summer time lovin' My summer. I love my tan. I love how I got a job. I love how -he- said he wants to come visit. I love how he kissed me on the last night I was there. I love how I got to spend time with my best friend. I love how I met cool new people. I love how he locked his fingers into mine. I love how he said "I'm really going to miss you". I love how my smile on my face has been genuine. I love how we drove around at all hours of the night, and when my bff wanted to go home because she worked early in the morning, he's drive me back. I love how I still have another month of summer left. I love the parties we went to. I love how once, we had a lineup of 17 cars driving to the middle of nowhere to party it up. I love how she's coming to visit me soon. I love how I've met some really great people from around here. I love the concerts I've gone to. I love how i'm going to have money when I go on vacation to shop. I love how I had an amazing time there. I love how I'm going to try and get back there soon. I love how me and ang have gotten closer. I love how I feel. I love summer. I hate how I haven't hung out with many people from around here. I hate how I had to come back early because of my fucking job. I hate how I didn't get to see everyone I wanted to. I hate leaving -him- behind. I hate not knowing whether he's actually coming or not. I hate feeling nervous about him coming. I hate that I found out that my best friend is a pothead. I hate that I can't do anything about it, because I live 9 1/2 hours away. I hate how he smokes weed. I hate how I actually can kinda look past that he smokes weed. I hate feeling this confused. I hate how my best friend seems closer to some of her other friends then we are. I hate how my best friend doesn't tell me whats going on in her life, unless it's good. I hate her boyfriend. I hate how it keeps raining. I hate not being able to sleep good because, even though it's raining, it's still hot. I hate how I got locked outta her house one night. I hate how she's not coming on vacation with me. I hate how I only have one more month of summer left. I hate how I don't live there still. I love summer. <3 Current Music: Mandy Moore-Only Hope (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, July 17th, 2004
12:32 am	so, i met a boy. <3 Current Mood: giggly Current Music: taking back sunday-playing favorites (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 23rd, 2004
7:43 pm	I'm so effin done school now, summer has OFFICIALLY started. FUCK YEAH. Okay, quick question. Have any of ya'll seen those "MRS.TIMBERLAKE" tank tops around?! AND, if so, where!!! Hahaha, thanksss!! Anyways, so yeah, I bought my friends lunch today, to celebrate school being ovahhhhhh! So much fun. Hah, shit, I'm so busy this week...tomorrow I'm going shopping, hopfully get some tank tops and maybe a skirt?! There's this guess shirt I REALLY want. I need a job SO badly. But like, I DON'T have a job. And I reallyyy need one so I can make some money. I kinda want my OWN money to spend, I feel bad when I use my parents all the time!! Lately I've been seeing the cutest earings, I KINDA want my ears peirced now, I've never had them done. =/ I dunno! Ummm, and thennn, there's a concert on Friday, and I totally wanna go to that, BUT randi is having a "bush party"? on friday also, she keeps pestering me to go and like fuck, I hate everyone who's going, and they all think I like them, so I get to pretend I do, I don't drink annnnnnndd, I'm NOT the type to stay out in a tent all night, even though I HAVE at her last party, but this time there's gunna be like 50 people there! It's so funny though, I've been talking to a buncha people who's invited and everyones like "I don't want to goooooo"...it sucks. It's SUCH a far drive and just, I wish she was juss having a small party, like 10 people she's ACTUALLY friends with at her house, then I'd go, and it'd probably be fun! And it's like, she's suchhhhh a bitch to me in person? But then she calls me and she's like "omgggg, your so my best friend, HEARRRRRRTTTTT" it's lame! I'm going to tell her about it too, because i'm cool like that. And like, if I wear anything new she'll literally glare at me all day and give me such dirty looks, like, just say my outfits cute, even if you hate it and stop glaring! I always compliment people when I know somethings new, or if they look really nice that day, jeeesh! Hahah, anyways, most of the people she barely knows, it's weird, i don't undertand WHY she's inviting them all! AND she can be really anti-social, so talk about akward. And frankly, I don't feel like anyone puking on my shoes. Sooo, I might just go shopping w/ my friend and then to the concert and call it a night, we'll see! THENNNNNN, on Sat...I'm going to another concert. Yeah, hopfully it'll be good...=/ Ehhh! Man, I hope it's a good summer. I might do some volunteer stuff, I'm NOT sure yet. I really want moneyyy =/ Blah. Any ideas how I can get some money without commiting to a regular job? Cause I'mma be gone for quite a bit of the summer...anyways, I've been calling around for hair dying prices...I really want my hair done, I haven't dyed it since LAST summer...SO weird, because I used to dye it every single month a diff color...I juss want some foil things in it though...and I don't wanna spend ALOT on it, because I juss want it nice, not insainly different...also, I'mma go get my nails done before I go visit my friends and bff...I just gave myself a pedicure tonight...it actually looks really good, considering I actually suck at painting nails!! Umm, what else...I went tanning today and the girl who works there was like "WHAT C.D DO YOU ALWAYS LISTEN TO!!" hahah, it's like a local band a just, they're AMAZINGGGGG. I listen to either them or...some other shit, but their so good. I'm going to go watch tv thoooooooooughhhhhhh!! BYEEEEEE <3 P.S THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO COMMENTED ABOUT THE STORES AND STUFF IN MY LAST ENTRY!!!!!!! <3 Current Mood: satisfied Current Music: The Starting Line-Playing Favorites (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, June 18th, 2004
10:51 am	You're a touch over-rated...you're a lush and I hate it... So with school ending for the year and all, it's just been, weird. I think I've been stressed out alot or something, because my stomach's like, killing me. I can't wait for all for all my tests to be overrrr. I've been so worn out lately...it was weird, my mom went out with kay's mom and her mom was like "Yeah, Kay was saying that Angel has been looking really worn out lately" Hahah, yeah. I have. =/ Her mom was telling my mom how much she wanted Kay to get back to being friends with her old friends, because she doesn't like her new ones. Ahahah. Speaking of "looking" though, this girl I know was talking to her friend and this guy or something and I was all "You guys should get together" and she's like, "yeah, I wish I was pretty, like, you, you're like, 3 times as pretty as me" and her friends like "Yeah, Angel is GORGEOUS" I was all *blush* thankssss! And then when I was at the concert with my friends my friend was like "Okay now, I don't want this to sound weird, but you have SUCH nice skin" hahah, man, that was SO unexpected, because, well, I'm always fighting with my skin. And hair. hahah. Eww, I got my hair cut and the layers are SO fucking short, hah, I hate it, but it'll grow out. OH, and I get to hang out with the attractive boy that I'm crushin' on in a week and a half or something. I'm actually SCARED. Weird. Hopfully him and the blonde girl decieded just to be friends. =/ Hmmm, what else. I DON'T want to study, at all. Ehhh. So me and Ang have actually been getting closer lately. WEIRD beyond weird...It's so strange, I kinda used to not like her? But I think we have more in common then I knew. But she graduated this year...and I think it's like just finally hit me. I'll NEVER see her at school again. No more writing her aimlessly long-ass notes in German class. I got really sad about that...Ah. I don't want to go back to that school. AND, she's planning on moving out this summer...I know she REALLY wants to, but...I don't want her to...it'd only be like 40 minutes away...but still... :( This summer will hopfully be good though...I'll be all tanned, and stuff. I applied for this part-time job, but I don't think that I got it. I REALLY hope I did, but if not, meh, what can ya do! Ummmm...what else. I'm saving up my money for when we head into the states this summer.... ANYONE WHO LIVES IN THE STATES, WHAT ARE SOME CLOTHING/MAKEUP STORES I NEED TO CHECK OUT!!! Ahh, robs is now complaining to me about her boyfriend. as always. leave me alone already, haha </3 <333333333! Current Mood: blah Current Music: You're So Last Summer-Taking Back Sunday (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, June 12th, 2004
6:56 pm	LAST NIGHT <333333 SO SUP, JUST READ THIS FOR ME, OKAY. BECAUSE I'M ACTUALLY HAPPY RIGHT NOW. FUCKIN' RIGHT. So, let me start with the sad news. That boy, from my school whom killed himself HUNG himself. Fuck. I think that's horrible. And so so...ah, I can't even express it. r.i.p <3 But last night, was AMAZING. Seriously, amazing. I'm lazy, so I'm going to majorly condense it. I went to a concert, with my friends, and I met...the most amazingly gorgeous boy I've EVER seen. Fuck fuck fuck. He's just...amazing. And he's funny. And outgoing. And he runs around with his guy friends holding hands and pretending they're in love. Just picture the most beautiful boy in the world, and that's him. BUT, he's interested in this girl. That he always sees, that he doesn't know. Which is shitty. Because I need someone like him in my life, even as just a friend. Okay. Now I'm just gushing </3 Ahhh. But it was so much fun and I'm too lazy to write all about it. Maybe another day. :) OH, and I got my haircut. Bye :) <333333333 (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 8th, 2004
3:49 pm	Weird day... SO. Today was effin' weird. I got to school way late, and I see people crying. I was like, well, SOMETHING happened. So, I found out at lunch, this boy, who had a locker by me commited suicide last night. It was really fucking sad. I didn't know him, but I knew his friends, and his locker was by mine. He was in grade 10. So that'd make him like what...maybe 15...16. I never saw him looking sad really. It was weird, he seemed happy. Some people were saying it was over a girl. Maybe I'll find out more tomorrow. But just, it's SO terrible. The tears started streaming after school. All his friends looked so upset, it broke my heart. They're all...punkish, and it was weird seeing them cry. I hated it. But yes, enough about that...I have a really bad ear infection, so I got a ride from my friend home today, thankfully. And I almost cried, because it hurts THAT much. Anyways. My weekend was SO good. My grandparents came up and I had such a good time. We went shopping, and me & my mom got a buncha stuff for our garden. My grandparents gave me $55. We went out for lunch. And it took like, an hour to get our meal, but it was SOOO good. Then me, my mom and grandma went and saw Shrek 2. It's really effin' cute. We played snakes and ladders, and I was craving a coffee thing, so my daddy took me to get one at 10:50 at night. Then the next day me and my mom went shopping, and I got a cute tube top and skirt and a bathing suit and we went out to eat again, yayyy, I got these chip things I'm obssesed with. Like obsessed, I can't even explain what they are or how good they are just, take my worddd! Fuck. I love spending time with my family. <3 Current Music: Accidently in love-Counting Crows (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 1st, 2004
5:21 pm	SORRY FOR THE LACK OF COMMENTS, JUST, BARE WITH ME FOR A WHILEEE <3 Wow, I need to start updating more? Because I have so much to say, and I swear some of it's actually interesting? But then I don't, and next time I update I just end up ranting and complaining? Hahah, man, what can you do! I'm going to do that 50 things about me that I see everyone doing in their journal somday though. Seriously!! ANYWAYS, schools almost over, I think the stress is REALLY getting to me. I'm all anxious and antsy now...it's terrible! Even going tanning...which used to relax me, I'll be like literally shaking when I think it's going to turn off, because there's like this big WHOOSH, that you think is going to scare you, but never does. Yeah, everythings tensing me up SO badlyyy. I had a buncha tests already, and it's TUESDAYYYYY :( It feels like it's Friday...my English teacher is gone, and we have this annoying sub that I have to deal with for like, 2 more weeks. I'm going to be so relieved once finals are over, man. And I get into that phase where I'm thinking about EVERYTHING and ANYTHING, and stay awake for insaine hours just thinking. I hate it. For anyone who's kinda followed my whole Kay situation and anyone who hasn't...I need advice... =/ And I'll quickly break it down.... Kay. One of my best friends. We did everything together, and at the same time are complete opposites. This year, on her birthday everything changed. She can't seem to do anything without alcohol, she totally ditched me for other people with the same intrests as her now...well, actually I just stopped talking to her, but she knows why. She's way into weed. She's immature and fuck, we went through this almost exactly a year ago. She promised me, pinky swear and all, she would NEVER do weed again, ever ever ever...she broke it. twice. But then she changed. And I literally had a bit of hope that she would stick to it. Not a whole lot, but still, coming from me, that's an improvment. Anyways, I was thinking about calling her up sometime this summer and just going to the mall, which we used to do every single Friday and just asking her what happened between us. Nothing will EVER be the same, but I MISS HER. There, I've said it. I DO miss her. The person she was. I just, don't know, I'm sure she'd go along with it, to the mall, I mean, just, I don't really know what to say. "WHY". I think that could pretty much sum up EVERYTHING. But I wouldn't even know where to start, and I don't know if too much as changed to have any sort or friendship now. I'm SO confused. If one more person asks me what happened with us though, I'm going to cry. Fuckk. My mom keeps asking, but she doesn't realize what it was about. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, it's because she's an alcoholic and drug addict now" wtf. I can't say that... ANOTHER thing, I don't know if I'm going down to my best friends this summer? My mom's pissed at her parents. Like PISSED. She's the most understanding person, in the world, but she literally like hates them right now. See, we came home last week and had a message for us, it was my bff's brother, who's 20? Saying he found a car by us and he wanted us to check into it, so being the person my mom is, she did. Basically, this person selling the car said there was NO way they would seel they're car to a young person, NO WAY, because it wasn't ment for a young person, they then spent 15 minutes trying to tell my mom to convince my bff's brother NOT to even look into it, because they weren't going to sell it to him. S my mom calls them, and tells them the news and her mom just goes kinda spasstic? She's bad enough to begin with, but she's all "OH, SO THEY WON'T SELL IT TO MY SON, blah blah" and was freakin' because she's like that. And my mom's like, that's just what they told me!! I'm just relaying the message! So then she puts her husband on, and he's going on and on about who knows what and he like...hates where I live? I dunno why...I mean, I hate it, but he's been here, like twice. I've lived her for years and I fuckin' have a reason to hate it! And he thinks where they live is so much better and shit, but fuck, I lived there 7 years, it's shit, just like her. AHH. they're like, obsessive, and strange, and they always have to be the best, in everything? and it's just SO annoying. They need to get out into the real world. WOW. what else. Ehhh...Kay and the two chicks she's like bff with now were making fun of this girl who offered them cake? lol, yeah, I dunno, anyways, I'm friends with this girl? Just, we're NOTHING alike, except for our mutual love for sushi, she's into animi stuff, and tatu. And I'm like, rocker at heart, obsessive shopper by day. But they were making fun of her saying she's probably a dyke and shit, and lol, honestly, she could be, but they don't even fucking know her. And who the fuck cares, she's really sweet and somewhat odd, but nice. AHH. seriously, I'm counting down these fucking days now.. P.S IN ADDITION, I ACTUALLY FUCKING WANT A BOYFRIEND NOW, seriously. so much. :( ahhh, oh and anna is pissing me off so much. she's possibly moving in with this guy this summer, who's in a band, who travels, therefore she'll probably go with them and see the world and how the hell did she meet him? having a crush on him a stalking, yeah. whatever, that's supposed to be MY life. travelling and seeing the world with attractive guys. ok, i'm done. man i'm jealous. she'd never deserve it. <3 (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, May 21st, 2004
5:04 pm	GIRLS! Hi :) Okay, has anyone tried the birth control alesse...or however it's spelt? If so, are there any side effects that you, or anyone you know experienced?! AND, birth conrols are suppose dto regulate your periods, right, if you go off of it, does your period go back to being irregular if it was before?! THANKSS <3 hah, you guys rock. <3 ANYWAYS, ummm, wow. What's new...so, I haven't talked to my bff again since I found out she'd not coming with me this summer, not because I'm mad or anything, our schedules just class friggin' hardcore. I might give her a call sometime soon though...or e-mail her. I'm pretty much over the fact she can't come. Well, technically, if I wanted her to, she COULD COME, becausssssse, my dad saw how dissapointed I was that she wasn't coming because of the price of the plane ticket, so, my parents said they'd pay the $350, so she could come. Seriously. My parents are amazing. But, I really don't think that'd be fair at all, as much as I want her to come, I'm NOT letting my parents pay her way, it's like a effin' totally free vacation, since we already said we'd pay for her food/and where we're staying for 8 days. It was so sweet they offered though. <3 I went shopping though...I want to find some cute skirts and tube tops though...anyone know of some good online sites for that?!? I think i'mma go back sometime this weekend and pick up a couple more things for the summer...I also want to get my hair cut, and dyed. Well, get chunks put back in...hmm...WHAT COLORS SHOULD I GET IN MY HAIRRRRRR. I kinda miss my old hair do'. But I like it how it is now...I just need a change? Here's a pic from my shit webcam from like a year ago? It twas' hot. I'm going to go clean and plant stuff, byeeeeee <3 Current Mood: bored Current Music: Evanescence-Everybody's Fool (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, May 17th, 2004
4:34 pm	Just when you think things are getting better...rant time <3 whee. Before I sound like an ungrateful bitch. I'd like to make it clear I really and fucking thankful for my life. overall, it's good, my family are the most amazing people you'd ever meet, however, that's really all that means anything to me in this place. today was such shit. we have like 5 days off soon, and everyone I know is working or have plans. it sucks. sometimes it's hard to pretend you're okay. today-found out no one could do anything, got a paper cut that started squirting out blood, got 84% on my english essay which i should have got higher on, have insaine amounts of homework, and walked by some random kid who literally stabbed me with their pen, it scratched all the way down my arm, swelling upa nd started bleeding. it hurt so effin' much i wanted to cry AND THE BEST NEWS OF ALL my "best friend" is no longer coming on vacation with us this summer because she can't afford the $300 plane ticket. we said we'd pay for EVERYTHING, minus the plane ticket and she can't afford that because she got a fucking 20,000 car [right after she FINALLY got her liscence, but seriously, wtf why does she need that expensive of a car right now] and her parents go on all these insainely expensive trips and now they're in debt, because of their 5,000 couch and new house, and she's trying to pay off her damn car. oh and their saving to go back to mexico. whatever. AND THEN, her parents expect me to spend $200 going down to visit them every year, and pay for my own food and shit. yeah, real cool. i'd trade every single one of my fucking friends in one second. i went to a concert last week. kay was there, and we used to always go to every concert together, however since i hate her we obviously weren't there together. i saw her and said hi, two times, and I swear the look in her eyes was insaine. one eye had total shock and the other eye basically came out and said "death" like she literally wanted to kill me. she should have known i'd have moved on. I'M FUCKING OUT OF THIS FUCKING PLACE AS SOON AS I GRADUATE Current Mood: crushed Current Music: bif naked-spaceman (9 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, May 15th, 2004
6:08 pm	Hi! Okay, have any of you tried Jessica Simpson's new perfume/or lipgloss or heard any reviews about it?! Actual update soon!! <3 (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, April 30th, 2004
11:03 am	GIRLS-WHAT DO YOU USE TO GIVE YOUR HAIR VOLUME?! LIKE, PRODUCTS. THNXX! So sup', If I'm getting sick I'm gunna cry. <3 My throat hurts. *tear* So yesterday was pretty cool, Me, Jaz & Amber, went to the mall shopping a bit and then to the movie "Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen"...it was pretty good, I want to see "Mean Girls" though. That looks cute. We went and tried on a buncha clothes. And I saw this really attractive boy wearing a tight pink shirt. Hah, I swear it was hot. They made fun of me </3 THAT'S OKAY THOUGH. hahah, it was fun. We tried out cute clothes, and searched for a necklace for me, and a mother's day present for my mommy and Jaz got a belly button ring & some thing for her car? Me & Amber wanted to stay late and roam aimlessly but Jaz wanted to see her boyfriend at like 10? so we had to leave. That was pretty lame, because we're obviously so much better then her bf, but that's besides the point I guess? Hah. But yeah, we found the cutest mini skirt I swear, it was this long ----------------------------------------------------------------- It was so short it didn't even fully cover her ass, hahah, but she has this like perfect model body so it couldn't have looked hotter. I found tis cute tank top that said "Mrs.Timberlake" on it, and just, I think I'mma go back today & get it, along with a couple other cute cummer clothes. Fuckkkkk, I need to not spend tons of money, because I'm saving up for this summer, and I am jobless. Wheee! I think I'll go get a french pedicure today though. We shall seeee! That's all. Have a kickin' weekend babes. <3 Current Mood: sick Current Music: 8th World Wonder-Kimberly Locke (3 Comments |Comment on this)